Friday, June 17, 2011

When Your Fire Gets Snuffed Out

Life is funny. You can go for the longest time with a burning flame inside you, a fire that's ready to ignite the world for Christ and feel like you are on the verge of exploding into glory! Then someone throws a bucket of cold water on your fire and it goes from a blaze to a fizzling pile of embers. Another bucket of water comes along and the embers are just a smoking pile of ash. All you have left is sadness, confusion and an empty void. In order to get that flame back you have to have a drying out period, a gathering fuel period and a time to get a spark again. Sometimes it takes days, weeks or months to go through the steps needed to regain your burning flame. It's a painful and arduous task that only God and time can heal.

Recently I had my fire snuffed out. I made an impassioned plea to the leadership of our church and it was ignored. My husband was called in to talk about the letter I sent...but not me. My husband got a text message saying that if I wanted to talk I could...but no text directly to me. I now know where I stand in the body of the church.

I tried to write devotionals for our church's women's page to encourage and edify them during this bleak season. When I asked leadership what they thought of them
I was told..."Well, I guess we need them now." (said with a shrug and a painful look on their face) They went on... " and I open FB in the morning and oh my gosh you're doing them EVERY DAY!" That was followed by lots of laughter.
Again, I am comfortable with my place in the body of Christ now that I know where I stand.

I have forgiven those that stepped directly on my toes but I know not to make the same foolish mistakes twice. So now is my drying out period...waiting for the the water to dry up so God can rekindle my flame. It's been a good learning experience for me because now I am ever watchful of my words to make sure that they edify and never quench someone's spirit. And I'm learning how to pray for those who are clueless as to how they speak to others.

So I guess it's true that all things work together for good to them that love God.
Thank You father for the experience of hurt in order to grow stronger in you.

1 Thess 5:19 - Quench not the Spirit.

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